I'll always love you
by cicibunbuns
Summary: Simple as this... I will always love you and that's a promise. One-shot!
**Hey guys... so this is my first ever one-shot. Don't know how good it'll be but we'll find out.**

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I can't believe THIS he left us! Left ME! He promised everyday that'd he come back to me, us. Now, I have a hole in my heart that he used to fill. I didn't even get to say goodbye and I love him one last time.

I sniffled as I gripped the little boy in my arms. He shouldn't be going through this right now. He's to young and he's never going to remember him. I can tell him about him but it's just not going to be the same no matter what. I know how it feels to be raised by a single parent without a dad. I'm just not sure if I can do this without him. My daughter will remember him at least but not that much. I don't want her to feel lost without him. He was their hero.

"Daddy? Why's Papa going in the ground?" My seven year old daughter asked. I didn't look away from the casket holding my dead soul-mate. I sighed stroking her hair.

"You remember what he and uncle Carlos did before any of this happened?" I felt her nod against my hand. I was trying to keep my tears at bay and be strong for my family.

"Yeah he went to work with him. Then he was in the hospital because the bad guy shot him." I nodded pulling her to my side.

I can remember that dreaded day. Carlos had called me bawling because that son of a bitch that they had pulled over shot him. He was perfectly fine or so they say. He had seen the kids before things went out of control. Apparently the bullet hit one of his ribs fracturing it and a piece of it punctured a vessel of some kind in his heart. It went unnoticed by the doctor. The night he saw the kids was his last. He bleed out as the kids and I slept. I was informed the next morning about his passing.

"Yeah sweetheart." She sniffled. I used the nickname her Papa used for her when he was trying to explain something to her.

"That doesn't explain why he's in there!?" She was starting to get dramatic. So, much like her Papa.

"Macky, it's because he protect Uncle Carlos. He wanted to protect him from getting shot. None of us knew that something was wrong. He's with Pappaw now. You understand?" I took the courage to look at her. I was trying not to because she looks so much like him. Her hazel eyes twinkle with the same sparkle he had and her hair was the same chocolate brown as his. I was so happy that she looked like him when she was born. I looked at her eyes so similar to the ones I fell in love with so many years ago.

 _Flashback_

 _"Come on Kendall! You know nothing will happen to you while I am there." I groaned and rolled my eyes._

 _"Yeah, yeah. You know I don't like those types of rides James!" He huffed and came over grabbing my chin and pulling it up so he could see my eyes. Hazel clashed with green._

 _"Kendall, I will be right there. No need to worry, I will always be right there." I looked deep into those eyes to see if there was anything signaling he was lying. All they did was sparkle with love._

 _"You promise you'll always be there?" He grabbed my face and pulled me in for our first kiss. It was simple but conveyed everything he was feeling. He pulled back with a grin placing his forehead on mine._

 _"I love you. Isn't that enough to show you that I promise?" I nodded._

 _End of Flashback_

We were eighteen and now nine years later I was putting him at rest. I felt my hand start getting wet. I looked back down at her to see tears falling. I sighed picking her up and putting her on my other hip. I laid my head on hers as they started to cover him up with dirt. I knew I shouldn't of watched but I did it anyway. I started to hum the lullaby he used to sing for her to calm her down.

"Dad-dy, I wa-ant Papa ba-ack." I nodded my head against hers as tears fell down my face.

"I know baby I want that too." I pulled them closer to me. Our son looked at me with big green eyes. The only thing he got from me. He was another spitting image of his Papa.

"Papa?" I shook my head and kissed his.

"I am sorry buddy. Papa isn't here." His eyes weld up with tears. I could help but think back to the two most blessed days we had.

 _Flashback_

 _I had just gone through hours of labor. I was exhausted but I had our little girl. My body just wanted sleep but I had other plans. I felt his hands run through my sweaty hair._

 _"Kendall, you need to sleep. We'll get to see her later." I shook my head and looked at him. He was smiling ear to ear I knew this day was going to be forever in his memory._

 _"I will not. I want to see my baby girl before I ever fall asleep." He chuckled and kissed my forehead._

 _"I know that. You've always been to stubborn. I was hoping this time you'd finally listen to me but I guess that was a long shot." He mumbled against my head as the nurse came in with her. I beamed scooting over so James could sit by me. She was placed in my arms. I felt tears on my shoulder. I looked up to see James crying. He reached out and stroked her face._

 _"Hi Macky, I am your Papa."_

 _Five years after that we did the same exact thing but Macky was with us._

 _"Hi Andrew, I am your Papa. We also have your big sister Macky with us." Macky was sitting on James' lap looking at him when he looked up at James with big green eyes. James smiled and kissed my head._

 _"Now, I get two sets of those amazing green eyes."_

 _End of Flashback_

He would always say those were his favorite days next to our wedding day. It wasn't all that fancy it was just down at the court house but it was special because I married the man of my dreams. My shirt was all wet from the tears of our children. I felt a hand grip my shoulder. I turned to see Carlos.

"Hey, it's done. They said you could go over there now." I nodded walking with both kids to his gravestone. Macky suddenly attached herself to it sobbing.

"Papa why'd you have to leave!?" My heart crumbled even more and her sobs got harder. I didn't know what to do at this time because it's all I wanted to do. I looked down at Andrew to see him fisting my shirt as he cried himself to sleep. I took a deep breath and sat down beside Macky. She then latched on to me and bawled.

"I want Pa-pa back Da-ddy. Make him co-me back." I choked back a sob and rubbed her back.

"I can't do that baby." She got up and ran to Logan. I sighed and then Carlos was at my side taking Andrew from my grip. I wouldn't let him as I gripped tighter.

"Kendall, you need to let go. I can see it in your eyes you want to be alone." I let go of my grip and Carlos took him over to Logan and their kids. I brushed my hand across the stone.

 _James Issac Diamond  
Loved by all_

"Why'd you leave me James!? You promised that you'd never leave! The first time you kissed me! You promised you'd always be there! You lied!" I screamed leaning against the rock. I looked over to see Carlos and Logan distracting the kids.

"Why did you have to act like the protector? You didn't have your vest on and you knew Carlos did! Why'd you do it James!" I knew I wasn't going to get an answer but it felt good to scream this all out.

"I love you and always will James." I closed my eyes rubbing the stone. I felt a hand on my face.

 _"Open your eyes Ken."_ I growled at the voice. I know the voice it was James' but I knew that it was my mind playing tricks on me.

 _"Come on Ken. I need to talk with you."_ I sighed and opened my eyes to see James standing right in front of me. He sent me a sad smile.

 _"There's the eyes I fell in love with. Now, I know I was stupid but I did it anyways. I am keeping my promise to never leave you."_ I shook my head. I am going crazy! I am seeing my dead husband in front of me. He chuckled.

 _"Ken you aren't going crazy. Like I said I did keep my promise."_ I growled.

"NO you did. You left me to raise Andrew and Macky!" He shook his head placing it on my cheek.

 _"No I didn't. It was my time to go and I'll always be watch all five of you."_ I snapped my head to James and furrowed my brows. I am not sure as to why five. He's no longer here so...

"It's three James. Two kids and me." He shook his head and placed his hands on my flat stomach.

 _"No, five. You, Macky, Andrew and a few more. I love you and them so don't you forget it. I'll be watching over you."_ He kissed my head as I closed my eyes. When I reopened then he was gone. I looked down at my stomach and smiled.

 _"Papa will always be there for you my babies."_ The wind whispered as I kissed the stone and walked over to my tiny family.

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 **And I bet all of you hate me now don't you! Oh well, I had to make it.**

 **Have a beautiful, wonderful day**

 **-cicibunbuns**


End file.
